'Do you have a longer yardstick?': 45+ People who corrected their friends after hearing the silliest things they wrongly believe

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Dec 14, 2023 5:00 PM EST

These people were pretty sure their friends were totally uninformed about the things they were saying. It happens to everyone at some point. You absorb some information from a documentary or a YouTube video, but you might misremember it. You think you know exactly what you're talking about, but when you go to mention it in a conversation, the other person stares at you like you have two heads. It's a universal experience that never ceases to be embarrassing! 

These folks shared the very silly things they've heard their friends and family members say. I love when people mistake what "a la mode" means, like one guy did when he asked for pie a la mode, with some ice cream on top. He probably thought it meant the pie was warmed up, or thought it was a fancy way to make the pie sound more special. 

Check out these great stories below — who knows, maybe you'll find a fact that you falsely believed in! I'm sure some of these memories are actually lovely memories in peoples' heads. The goofier our friends are, the more we love being around them. 

After that, these employees shared the worst holiday presents their bosses have ever bestowed upon them, like one person who wrote, "We got a digital cake." 

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  • 01
    '[He] ordered the "pie a la mode" from the menu. He then proceeded to ask the waitress if they could put a little ice cream on top of that.'
    via Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
  • 02
    What is the silliest statement you have ever heard someone make?
    via u/Automatic_Hedgehog71
  • 03
    ghostbungalow "How did they get the paint all the way up the sides?" -Middle-aged woman touring the Meteor Crater in AZ. "That's not paint, those are the actual colors of the rock" - Her husband, giving her a long stare and walking away.
    via u/ghostbungalow
  • 04
    tyintegra I had a boss say "oh you don't want kids, you should just have one to try it out". Really, and what happens if I find out that I truly don't want kids? Can we just put it back where it came from?
    via u/tyintegra
  • 05
    JustMeerkats I worked at a place that gave a military discount. Family (mom, dad, adult son, adult daughter) walked in. Dad was reading the prices and pointed out to the son that he could get a discount! This kid takes the sign, reads it, and says, as God is my witness: "I'm not in the military. I'm in the Army."
    via u/JustMeerkats
  • 06
    Parking-Car4557. My husband, as he was looking at a pickle jar, says "why are there cucumbers in the ingredients?" I'm still married regardless.
    via u/Parking-Car4557
  • 07
    Five Star_Amenities. A friend of mine said she got more tanned when riding her bike than she did when walking because on her bike, she was "closer to the sun".
    via u/Five Star_Amenities
  • 08
    Thbbbt_Thbbbt. This just reminded me of a time I was out on a boat with a big group of people and one of them said "I'm so glad it's windy, I won't get sunburned" they thought the wind would push the light away from their skin. I was the only one to say it definitely doesn't work like that and I could tell they thought I was wrong.
    via u/Thbbbt_Thbbbt
  • 09
    ACaparzo Earlier today I offered a cough drop upon my flight's landing to the lady wet coughing right behind me the whole flight. "Oh, no thanks, I'm not sick. I just went to Oregon and have felt awful the whole time since" Okay...so...sick?
    via u/ACaparzo
  • 10
    corviknight2259 Someone once told me that paramedics/nurses/doct ors are not allowed to do CPR on someone they know because it's "a conflict of interest"
    via u/corviknight2259
  • 11
    GutsMVP When my Uncle was a child he told his mom "I want to be a garbage man when I grow up because they only work one day a week". Same guy also skipped school in 1st grade. He never got on the bus and wandered the neighborhood instead of going to school. Legend.
    via u/GutsMVP
  • 12
    erager My ex MIL told me that trains run west in the winter and east in the summer. 415 secret_samantha Reply Share did she think they were migratory or something
    via u/erager
  • 13
    ProudCatLadyxo. A friend once said she couldn't take Southwest Airlines because she was flying east to Florida.
    via u/ProudCatLadyxo
  • 14
    "I thought Kalamazoo was a made-up place, like Abu Dhabi." The woman who said this was a grad student. :/
    via r/AskReddit
  • 15
    BuckleupBirds A woman tried to send back a dish. She didn't understand the components of it and tried to tell me that she couldn't eat it because she was allergic to crunchy. Like yeah the texture. Not the ingredient that we had made crunchy.
    via u/BuckleupBirds
  • 16
    Mavises LMAO. Makes me feel better about the guy who asked a friend (server) for 'Mushroom risotto, but without the rice'.
    via u/Mavises
  • 17
    Had an older family member that back in the day went to a diner and ordered the "pie a la mode" from the menu. He then proceeded to ask the waitress if they could put a little ice cream on top of that. :)
    via r/AskReddit
  • 18
    Michael_With_An_M I was at a baseball game in Cincinnati and the teenage girl behind turned to her friend and said "this is so cool, it's almost like we're watching it live". I think about that a lot
    via u/Michael_With_An_M
  • 19
    Velociraptornuggets. One time I was walking with my husband and I saw a familiar-looking neighbor walk out of his front door. I was trying to remember where I had seen him before, when I finally placed him - I'd seen him walk out of his garage, located in an alleyway behind his house, which despite being connected to a different thoroughfare is, in fact, part of the same house. Unfortunately, I didn't put that together in time to avoid saying: "doesn't that guy look just like the guy who lives i
    via u/Velociraptornuggets
  • 20
    We met the neighbor at a block party a few months later and my husband introduced him to me as "the guy who lives in the front and back of his house."
    via u/Velociraptornuggets
  • 21
    NotBadSinger514. Sat down to eat with a friend. I said "I'm famished" she looked at me, laughed and LOUDLY she said to me "I swear you make up words sometimes"
    via u/NotBadSinger514
  • 22
    Jwagner6oh My wife: hurry up and water the lawn, its about to rain"
    via u/Jwagner6oh
  • 23
    miserylovesicecream Had someone in 4th-5th grade try to convince me that the word "saw" was spelled "sawl". After trying to correct him, he responded by incorrectly sounding the word out in a very condescending way by pronouncing the "L" at the end. No Matty, just because you're pronouncing it wrong doesn't mean it's spelled that way. F*** changing names for anonymity. His name was Matty and he was a moron.
    via u/miserylovesicecream
  • 24
    abby_normally My brother at 17 asked Dad to sign his permission form to enter the Marines, because he was tired of being told what to do. Update: He signed it and said some people have to learn the hard way. Dad was in the Navy for 4 years. My brother was in Marines for 3. There were 7 kids, 5 boys and 2 girls he is #3, I am #6. My dad after the navy worked as a physicist for Dept of Defence, I considered us middle- class and doing well.
    via u/abby_normally
  • 25
    Festygrrl A woman I used to work with "I don't need a passport to go to Fiji". She thought Fiji was part of Australia. "I can't exercise anymore, my baby might fall out". Conversations with her were a delight!
    via u/Festygrrl
  • 26
    LittleMissNicole. "Are babies invertebrates?" "What if you could turn the steering wheel all the way around?" "Its supposed to be one- ity one, not eleven." All by my brother, all said in his 20s. Almost all said sober, the oneity one comment was said when he had been up for 48 hours straight.
    via u/LittleMissNicole
  • 27
    Angharadis "Why don't you become a pope?" Asked of me, a non-Catholic woman, while discussing what I could do with my undergraduate degree in religion. Somehow it's the "A pope" part that sticks with me, like there are multiples at once. This is after the person asked me if I wanted to become the First Lady due to my interest in politics. I do not think he was joking.
    via u/Angharadis
  • 28
    Captain-Fabulous27. A friend in grade 9 (14 years old) told me that moose were the males, and deer were the females. I could not get it through to her that she was incorrect. I gave up. She might still believe that to this day. It hurts me.
    via u/Captain-Fabulous27
  • 29
    LittleSqueesh My ex brother-in-law has said some really dumb One time he argued with me, insisting that instant Ramen covers all .. the basic dietary needs. I tried to tell him eating just Ramen every day would give him a nutrient deficiency. I even went and got a packet to show him the nutrition facts, but he stuck to his guns. This same guy didn't know what asparagus is. He owned a car for two years and never changed the oil because he thought that was optional. The list goes on and on. He's t
    via u/LittleSqueesh
  • 30
    Conscientiousmoron. "Raw oysters are good if they are cooked right." He is successful IE professional.
    via u/Conscientiousmoron
  • 31
    Actuaryba We we get to Los Angeles, we can just take the ferry over to Hawaii.
    via u/Actuaryba
  • 32
    mistyeyed1 My ex husband told me in the summer time that it doesn't get any hotter in a standing, closed up car, than it is outside.
    via u/mistyeyed1
  • 33
    SeaweedThief "It's a good thing they put a fence around that burn pile. Don't want the fire getting out of control and reaching the shed."
    via u/SeaweedThief
  • 34
    downwithraisins. I asked if something was safe to eat, they said they were sure it was safe, me: how sure? Them: like 50% sure.
    via u/downwithraisins
  • 35
    Temporary-Fee-10. At a water park, I overheard someone curiously asking how the water at the top of a waterslide knows when to start flowing
    via u/Temporary-Fee-10
  • 36
    openlygayseal "Do you have a longer yardstick?"
    via u/openlygayseal
  • 37
    No-Consequence-5181. my stepmom was talking about her dentist appointment where she was about to have a cavity fixed on the right side of her mouth & said "well it.....cause i'll have to chew on the left side of my mouth, but im right handed so its hard".... girl what?
    via u/No-Consequence-5181
  • 38
    raginweon A dude i met thought a polar bear underwater would be considered a blue food. Person A: "There are no blue foods naturally in the wild." Person B: "A polar bear underwater is blue. You could eat that." Group: "Wut?"
    via u/raginweon
  • 39
    BestIfUsed ByDate. "So you think the moon is closer than the stars?" Said to me by a girl in college that I was dating, after I made some comment about how long it takes the light from stars to reach us.
    via u/BestIfUsed ByDate
  • 40
    Chrono-Helix "Cats lay eggs, right?" A groupmate in university
    via u/Chrono-Helix
  • 41
    ComeflywithEm. My sister once asked me how long I've had my birthmark... I just stared at her
    via u/ComeflywithEm
  • 42
    ThatScottGuy I would rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford. Said by my friend who asked me to give him a ride to work (in my Ford) because his Chevy was broke down again. We both had 1970's era beater trucks but mine just happened to be more reliable. He still only drives Chevys where as I have no brand loyalty and buy whatever I like.
    via u/ThatScottGuy
  • 43
    disturbed3215 A friend of mine was walking ahead of me and stumbled over a rock. I said "watch out for inanimate objects Stacy" to which she replied "Rocks are real disturbed3215". I just laughed.
    via u/disturbed3215
  • 44
    Shigeko_Kageyama "The baby did it." Yes, I'm sure the four day old baby is the one who ate my fig newtons.
    via u/Shigeko_Kageyama
  • 45
    xxkingPiccoloxx. I told my manager a statement she made was asinine. She told me I wasn't allowed to curse at her.
    via u/xxkingPiccoloxx
  • 46
    4901 Stop_Plate Tectonics I'm a male with a twin sister. After clearly stating that my twin sister is a "she", people invariably ask if we're identical.
    via u/Stop_Plate_Tectonics
  • 47
    Zipper-Mom "Wait, I thought you had to be eighteen to be a U.S. citizen??" Said by a girl in my senior dual credit English class... she had applied to ALL of her colleges as not a U.S. citizen. She was born and raised in America- and was as white as could be. Well all just stared at her in horror for a solid minute while she processed how badly she'd screwed herself over with college applications. She'd somehow grown up all 18 years of her life thinking that she wasn't a citizen
    via u/Zipper-Mom
  • 48
    MagicalGirlUnicornia. My classmate asked me if Cuba was a united state. During a geography test. She's turning 18 in, like, three months btw
    via u/MagicalGirlUnicornia
  • 49
    3beagles "Pan handling freeloading 11 my 70 year old dad to my dog begging for food Imao
    via u/3beagles
  • 50
    Retiree66 A parent told me his kid didn't need to learn how to work with others because anywhere the kid went for the rest of his life there would be someone to give him orders.
    via u/Retiree66
  • 51
    mysticdragonwolf89. This coworker said "I'm the most qualified person here!" Dude sit down, you started yesterday
    via u/mysticdragonwolf89

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